Jeffery S. R. Patterson
A Professional Law Corporation
Rancho Mirage, California
THE CHILDREN'S BILL of RIGHTS
Divorce Happens to a Family -- Not a Couple!
Few events can match the impact of divorce. It is the second most stressful time in a person's life. Each and every member of the family is affected. Anger, confusion, fear and depression are only a few of the feelings that are common with divorce.
Sadly, the trauma of divorce is greatest on the children, where the effects of divorce can last well into adulthood. As adults, children of divorce often experience a greater sense of loneliness, relationship difficulties, and increased incidence of both physical and/or psychological illness.
The stress to children cannot be under-estimated or ignored. All too often, through, parents are struggling themselves, and may not be fully aware of or appreciate the deep emotional significance of divorce on their children. How well children react and adapt to the radical changes they face will depend on their age, gender, quality of the pre-divorce family system and how their parents act during and following divorce.
To help remind you of the importance of taking care of your children and their needs during this critical time, THE CHILDREN'S BILL OF RIGHTS in DIVORCE was created to serve as a guideline for divorcing parents. Each of these rights, if observed, will help your child through the transition of divorce. If you do not feel that these rights can be observed by you and your partner then professional counseling is highly recommended. Find a counselor or family therapist who has the facility to work with children, enabling them to actively express their feelings now, so that the long-term and more serious effects of divorce can be minimized. Additionally, find an attorney who is understanding of the Children's Bill of Rights, and who can help insure your children are protected. I am indebted for this article to Robert Soman, Ph.D., 111 Tahquitz Canyon Way, Suite 121, Palm Springs, CA 92262 (760) 416-9992.
THE CHILDREN'S BILL of RIGHTS
CHILDREN HAVE THE RIGHT to be with, or contact the other parent by phone or mail.
CHILDREN HAVE THE RIGHT to refuse to be the messenger of angry or hostile communications between parents, including delivery of child support payments.
CHILDREN HAVE THE RIGHT not to hear mean-spirited or derogatory comments made by one parent about the other.
CHILDREN HAVE THE RIGHT not to be compared to the other parent if they act-out, misbehave, or express unpleasant feelings.
CHILDREN HAVE THE RIGHT to know about significant changes such as moving, changing schools, or remarriage, before they occur.
CHILDREN HAVE THE RIGHT not to become involved with a parent's financial decisions, legal matters, suicidal thoughts, personal or sexual problems.
CHILDREN HAVE THE RIGHT to remain being children.
CHILDREN HAVE THE RIGHT to not become a substitute for adult companionship or professional counseling.
CHILDREN HAVE THE RIGHT not to choose between parents out of fear of losing affection and approval from either parent, or worry about filling a parent's needs.
CHILDREN HAVE THE RIGHT to not worry about one parent withholding love if they come to like a new step-parent or other caring adult.
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Last Updated: June 1997
WebMaster: E-Mail toJeff Patterson, Esq.
© copyright 1997